Character
Have you ever had someone who you just met, call you out on a personal characteristic that they should have NO business recognizing if they JUST met you? Something that maybe you knew, or maybe you didn’t, but either way, you figured you kept it pretty well hidden? Sometimes it causes a revelation, sometimes it creeps you out, but either way it makes you think. Is that characteristic so blatant that ANYONE could see it? Do I throw out a vibe? Some people are incredibly perceptive, or trained to pick up on signs, or even GUESS them (sales people, psychics, etc.), so I shouldn’t take it that far to heart. But it happened to me yesterday, and it wasn’t on necessarily a GOOD characteristic, and I can’t shake it. It bothers me, and it really, really shouldn’t.
I was at a holiday party, had my happy, friendly face on, and was wandering around, mingling with the guests. I started talking to a gentleman who was from out of state, doing the polite chit chat thing - weather, local restaurants, Austin’s culture, etc.. It came up that I was born in WY, but grew up mostly on the East Coast and he got really curious about how I ended up in Texas. I answered all his questions, and then a friend of his walked over. He introduced me and said “This is Kristin, she’s from the East Coast, but lives here now and I can’t figure out why.” I thought I’d explained it, but told him to keep asking me questions if there was something I’d missed. He asked me about music, and about my friends. It was mentioned how much we moved growing up and he said “Oh, I’m so sorry.” I love that we moved, so the apology was dismissed and then he said “Did you have a hard time moving? Were the kids nice to you?” I did alright, I was very outgoing. I didn’t really fall into one particular category (except perpetual ‘new girl’), I talked to a few people from every clique, so I bounced around depending on the day. And then he cocked his head and said “Poor thing, you’re still doing that now, aren’t you? You’re still trying to figure out who you are.” And then they said a polite goodbye and left me there feeling like an insecure little kid.
I *know* I have a hard time making life long friends, but I don’t mean to. It’s a bad habit, and the longer I live in one place, the more I let go of it. It’s just hard for me to get attached if I think I might leave - and I’ve ALWAYS left. I actually have friends who I’ve become closer with after I’ve moved because I know then the relationship is ’stable.’ I’m here, they’re there, that won’t change like it would have if I still lived there. Does that make sense?
Anyway. I know I’m not defective. I know that we are the way we are because we have had years of practice. It was just unsettling being confronted with that kind of information by someone I don’t even know.
December 13th, 2005 at 8:52 pm
You’re TOTALLY not defective. You’re my good friend, no matter where you live and where you move to!
Plus, the guy at the party kind of sounded like a patronizing asshole to me.
December 14th, 2005 at 8:28 am
I have to agree. The guy sounds like he really DIDN’T know you at all! Listen, I am of the same school you are. I know who I am and I am comfortable in my own shoes knowing that I am a good person and that I have good friends, no matter where they might be. You can’t let some ignorant guy (who has probably never seen or done some of the really awesome things you have)shake your foundation. You know who you are and we all know that you are a GREAT friend and a SUPER sister. Moving and meeting new people and making friends all over the country (and the world) IS part of who you are and it’s my opinion that it has made you a better person for it. Be proud girl! We love you just the way you are!!
December 14th, 2005 at 3:47 pm
You guys are awesome. I think as much as typing this whole thing out helped, reading your comments (and an IM from Tim) sealed the deal. This person doesn’t know me. And even if I am insecure in those areas, such is life. It’s good to keep changing and growing and figuring it out out as I go along. Otherwise, what’s the point?
December 15th, 2005 at 7:37 am
Wow, I agree with ‘mum - arrogant asshole. How dare he even pretend to know who you are after one conversation! Geez. I think he just “got lucky” and hit on something you have thought about in the past. People amaze me. Rude. I know I blurt stuff out a lot that I shouldn’t, but not to someone I just met 5 minutes ago! Only my favorite people that are around me a lot get that joyous side of me. You Rock Kristin. I love your hippie ways. :-)