HD: Thank you for calling Home Depot. Please press 1 for store hours, 2 if you know your party’s extension, 3 to speak to a specific department…
Me: *Pushes 3*
HD: Please press 1 for the Garden Center, 2 for Hardware, 3 for Plumbing…
Me: *Pushes 2*
HD: Hardware, this is Tony.
Me: Hi Tony. I’m not sure if this is the right dept, there wasn’t an option for “Tools”…
HD: Hardware is tools, ma’am.
Me: …

Then I seriously considered hanging up and making someone else call and ask if the nail gun I wanted to get Jef for his birthday was in stock because I felt like a such a moron.